MERRY MAYHEM REVIEW 2001



My Review Of "A Night of Merry Mayhem"
Continental Airlines Arena, Meadowlands, NJ - December 23, 2001

I was lucky enough to score 2 meet and greet passes, and tickets to this concert
(and I can't thank you guys enough Eddie and Mike!!!!). I was told to be there at
6:00. Kathy (my friend) and I got there at 5:30... went inside to pick up my
stuff at the will call window, but nothing had come down yet. We were told that Ozzy
wouldn't be showing up until 11:00 and that the concert had been pushed up. So
right there I was like "Oh man... there goes my chance to get back stage tonight."
So about 5 minutes later, everyone was kicked out of the arena and we weren't
allowed back in until 7:00. I was positive my chances of meeting Ozz were slim
now.

7:10 the gates opened. We both got frisked pretty heavily, but they didn't catch
my digital camera that I had shoved in my pants - heh heh!. Picked up my stuff at
the will call window, and inside the envelope along with my VIP passes and tickets
was a note saying to meet a woman named Gayle Miller by a nearby escallator. So we
met up with Gayle and she escorted us back stage. When I say us, I am including 6
other people who had the same passes as I did. In fact, one of the people among us
was the gym teacher from Virginia who was recently featured on the VH-1 Fanclub show.

Ok, so now we're back stage
inside a long hallway waiting
outside double doors that
led into another long hallway.
We must have waited there for
about an hour and 1/2. It seemed
like an eternity. Gayle was very
nice to us... she would leave
and come back every so often to
give us an update on what was going
on. Ozzy is stuck in New York, Ozzy
is in the Lincoln Tunnel, Ozzy just
arrived, Ozzy has to get checked out
by his doctor (for his leg),
etc, etc, etc....

So around 9:15 we are all taken into
the next hallway where it seemed to
be one big party. Lots of young
girls in very short leather outfits,
lots of tattooed long haired guys
walking around with equipment, saw
Jack and Kelly Osbourne chatting with
different people, and a bunch of suits
yelling stuff like "Get these sticker
guys outta here." - meaning me because
my pass was a sticker and not a laminate.

So now, all 8 of us are lined up in front of Ozzy's dressing room. We waited
there for about 10 minutes. Mudvayne got off stage and walked by us with all
their makeup on. Looked pretty funny closeup like that. Jesse Camp was back there
too... we spoke to him for a minute or two. (Remember that guy???)
I'm crapping in my pants now. (Figuratively speaking). The first set of people go into
Ozzy's dressing room and seem to come back out almost instantlly, so I thought to myself
"What the %$#@?". Same thing happends with the 2nd group of people. So I asked Gayle how
long we get to spend with Ozz. She just said something like "how ever long it takes", and
with that someone opens up the door and shouts "NEXT!".

Ok, so me and Kathy walk in, and there
stands Ozzy. They were taking polaroid
pictures. Some big security guard in a
suit asks me what I'm carrying... so I
told him it's a picture of me and Ozzy
that I'd like to get signed, so he said
"we're not supposed to allow this sort of
thing but I'll let it go this time." So I
put my pic down on a table, stood next to
Ozz and said something like "Hey Ozzy, how
ya doin?" and he said something like "Hello...
good, good...." and with that he lifted his
arms up and put them around me to pose for a
picture. As soon as the picture was taken, I
grabbed my old pic for him to sign... he was
handed a black sharpie marker, but I brought
a silver marker for him to sign the pic with
because it is a very dark picture. This big
goon of a security guard starts yelling at me
because I am too slow getting the marker out
of my jacket pocket. Geez... I was no longer
than like 10 seconds... he said something like
"Didn't they brief you outside about this stuff
before you got in here???" So I'm like "NO! Sorry
man!" Ozzy leaned over on a garbage can to sign my
pic and at that point I just asked him how his
leg was feeling. He replied "It's f***ing killing
me man." I was just so happy to hear him actually
reply to me. I've met him 3 prior times and he has
never spoken a word to me. Ozzy was shaking
very badly the whole time. He looked very tired.
On that note, I was led out of Ozzy's dressing
room back into the hallway. "Take care Ozz." I
was a little disapointed that I didn't get to spend
more time with Ozzy... but I guess I should be happy
because most people don't even get the chance to
do what I have done. What I would just kill for
would be like 15 minutes of just me and Ozzy alone...
no security guards to rush me through. I just want
the chance to tell him what an inspiration he has
been to me, and how he has affected my life... stuff
like that. Who knows, it still may happen some day.
It was still cool none-the-less.



Back to the hallway. We're on our way out, and out walks Sharon Osbourne. I pulled her
aside and told her how happy I was to finally meet her. We spoke for about 2 minutes.
I told her about my website and some other things. She was very, very sweet. She posed
for a picture and then wished me a very merry Christmas. Very nice person. Totally
sincere. This concluded my back stage experience as we were kicked out about 2 minutes

later. On to the concert. Rob Zombie was already on stage. We had 8th row, center, floor seats.
NICE! Rob's stage was sick, to say the least. Lot's of fire. Lot's of scantly clad
chicks. Robots, crazy images on screens... you name it. He's got it all going on.
Awesome stage show! I'm not to familiar with his songs, but I know he did one of his
new tunes "House of 1000 Corpses" to which he showed clips of a movie that he made
with the same title that has been banned. Gruesome stuff man. Gruesome! I'd love to
see this movie! (You should release this on DVD Rob!) He did a few old White Zombie
tunes as well. I was very impressed.

Now on to Ozzy. New opening movie is hillarious as usual. Ozzy did a skit dressed up as
Mrs. Cleo (that fat tarot card reading chick you see on those local cable channels
all the time), one in a Madonna video where he is driving her cab and he is this
oily black hair and a goatee, a skit with Jennifer Lopez where he says "ahhh you got
a big fat ass anyway..." (VERY FUNNY)... one with Christina Aguilera in a Moulin Rouge skit,
he was dressed up as a black guy smoking pot singing that song "I Got High"...
can't remember them all. Gotta get a copy of this! As soon as the opening movie was over,
this fake snow began to fall. Tons and tons of fake snow. I think it was actually
mashed potato mix. Ever get those fake Betty Crocker mashed potato mixes? (Garlic
herb is very good.) Well, that's what I think it was. It was down the back of my
shirt (very itchy), all over my head, chair, everywhere!!!! Very cool looking.
A fake Ozzy (who was that anyway?) perched high above the crowd in a sleigh comes
sailing towards the stage shooting something out of a cannon into the crowd. I believe
they were water balloons... who knows... maybe they were just fake snowballs. Anyway,
the sleigh seemed to get stuck right over the right side of the stage, and then all of
a sudden Ozzy was onstage. I didn't know what I was looking at... there were 2 Ozzy's.
So this fake Ozzy hung there for the whole first song (which was "I Don't Know") and
lip-synched. Ozzy went over to him at one point and threw water balloons at him.
Ozzy sounded great. He was jumping and running all over the stage like nothing hurt
him at all. I couldn't believe this was the same guy I had met just 45 minutes
earlier. He was on fire. Two new songs were up next - "That I Never Had" and "Junkie".
I was very happy to hear some new stuff live. Zakk was totally killing. Great to
have him back. "Mr. Crowley" was next, always a crowd favorite. "Gets Me Through" was
the fifth song. Another new one...yee haw! "Suicide Solution" was next. Zakk did the
sickest solo with a little Van Halen piece and then he ripped into The Star Spangled
Banner... what a version. Better then Hendrix if you ask me. Gave me chills. This guy
was playing with the guitar behind his neck, and then he was using his teeth... he's
just on fire. So sick. Next up were 3 songs off of NMT - "No More Tears", "I Don't
Want To Change The World", and "Road To Nowhere". Last song up before encore was of
course "Crazy Train". Around this time, Ozzy brought out some of NY's finest - police
officers and fire fighters. Ozzy told us that the proceeds of this concert were going
to the Howard Stern WTC fund. The NYPD presented Ozzy with a cross made from
the center I-beam of the World Trade Center. Ozzy looked very touched and he immediately
hugged some of them. (See pics below!) Ozzy walked off stage and the lights went down.

I figured Ozz would just come back out and do Paranoid, but we wound up getting 3 more!
First he did "Mama, I'm Coming Home". After Mama, he went to all his band members and
whispered in their ears... when I saw that I thought we were going to get something real
special... then he shouts on the mic "Get Bark At The Moon up there" as he pointed
to his teleprompter. Awesome! ...and of course, you can't have an Ozzy show with out
"Paranoid". He was in top form. Awesome, sick, wild concert!

Pictures!!!!

1. Shot of Zombie and band

2. The fake Ozzy-clause flies through a sea of mash potato flakes

3. Another shot of fake Ozzy-clause in sleigh

4. Ozzy onstage with "Down To Earth" backdrop

5. Ozzy with hand to ear

6. Rob T. jams on the bass standing on top of speakers

7. Zakk plays with his teeth

8. ...more zakk with teeth

9. Zakk solo

10. Nice stage shot with Ozzy at mic

11. Zakk and Rob jam together

12. NY Fire Fighters present Ozz with a cross made from WTC I-beam #1

13. NY Fire Fighters present Ozz with a cross made from WTC I-beam #2

14. NY Fire Fighters present Ozz with a cross made from WTC I-beam #3

15. NY Fire Fighters present Ozz with a cross made from WTC I-beam #4

16. NY Fire Fighters present Ozz with a cross made from WTC I-beam #5

17. Zakk plays "Mama" on the double-neck

18. Ozzy yelling at us

19. Ozzy about to soak someone with a bucket of water

20. Ozzy with one hand in the air

21. Ozzy tells us to drive home safely

22. Shot of band coming to do final bow

23. Kaboom!